BIO: Melissa Guida-Richards is a 25 years old stay at home mom that discovered she was adopted at nineteen years old. She created the blog spoonie-mama.com to be a helpful resource to other mothers dealing with chronic pain, the challenges of motherhood, and the struggles of being adopted. Melissa is also an aspiring children’s picture book author, that creates own voices stories that will touch the hearts of many. Her Bachelors of Arts in Psychology and Criminal Justice has helped her learn so much about mental health in our society, and she hopes to help many families affected.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE ADOPTED?
Lo siento, no hablo español.
By: Melissa Guida-Richards
Imagine waking up every day looking different than your parents
Asking yourself who you look like
Why your skin color is darker
Imagine working in a store and people coming up to you speaking a different language
“I don’t speak Spanish, I’m sorry”
And you are truly sorry
But not for them but yourself
Imagine they give you the look
You know what that look means
What kind of Hispanic doesn’t speak Spanish?
Imagine hating yourself because you know more Italian
You eat pasta almost every day
You hate rice and beans
Imagine not fitting in with your family
Imagine hating them but yet loving them all the same
Imagine coming to college and trying to embrace your true culture
But being so embarrassed because you don’t fit in with other Hispanics either
Imagine a fellow hermana asking you where you’re from…
Imagine the look you get when you tell her or anyone else that you’re adopted, I don’t speak Spanish
Imagine asking your parents why they lied to you for so many years?
Imagine understanding but yet not forgiving them…
Imagine being Italian and Portuguese for 18 years of your life
Imagine finding out that they reason you’re darker is because you were adopted from Colombia
Imagine your family saying racist things about your culture
Imagine them not understanding why it’s wrong
Imagine crying because you don’t know where you belong
Imagine what I want:
Imagine it being that simple
No more looks
No more questions
No more awkward moments when I say I’m adopted
No more wanting to hide who I really am
Imagine it being that simple
Because it really is that simple
Adoption is not a one sized fit all puppies and rainbows situation. Their is definite trauma, stress, and anxiety. It has taken me over six years from my late discover of my adoption to work through a lot of negative feelings. I’m still affected by it to this day, but over time I have come to terms with it. It is important to talk about your situation so you can help yourselves process, so please do not hesitate to reach out to others, even just a Facebook group.
Check out her article on The Mighty.
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